perplexity

The turning point came after getting married.

The opportunity came to me to carry out the plan I had planned with my husband, "Unemployed as a married couple." As a break in our lives, it's about three months of "non-work time" for both of us.

I was able to pick up the brush properly after a long time, but the trouble was that I didn't know what to draw. I imitated Kyosai and forced him to draw a skull and other things, but something was wrong. I have a desire to draw, but I don't know what I want to draw. The distorted pride that was built up inside of me was also getting in the way. “I studied at an art university and somehow managed to stay within my favorite field of work. I should have grown as a person, so I have to be able to draw something amazing! For some reason I thought so. My drawing ability was also considerably degraded.

So, I decided to go on a trip to France for about two weeks. When I arrived in France, it was in the middle of a strike and transportation was out of order. I used my ingenuity and managed to get to my destination by arranging a plane instead of the planned land route. I gave up on the Louvre as soon as there was a line of complaints, and spent a surprisingly fulfilling time, such as hooking up with mulled wine and switching to art supply stores around the city.

(The Grande Galerie de l'Évolution)

The two weeks were full of other troubles, but as I overcame them and spent every day on the trip, I suddenly thought, ``The world is so big, and my troubles are so small compared to it. I was. The self-confidence of overcoming one problem after another in a foreign country where I didn't know anything and having a good time washed away something that was clinging to my own world of drawing.